LuV STORY OF ENGINEER: :P

I was in 12th
She was in 12th
I got B.Tech
She got BBA
I was doing B.Tech
She got MBA
I was preparing 4 M.TECH entrance
She got married
I m doing M.TECH
She's d mother of 2 children
I got PH.D
Her daughter is in 1st stndrd,
I became DOCTRATE
Hr daughtr passd 10th,
I hav joined job.
Hr Daughtr joined College.
The Greatest irony-
.
.
Today is my ENGAGEMENT
&Her daughtr is my WIFE
.
Agle Janam Salaa ARTS hi Lunga.
East or west Arts is d best...

 

 

Biwi ka Dilkese jetoon.. ??

Ek admi ki shadi hui, Dost se
Mashwra liya k apni Biwi ka Dil
kese jetoon.. ??
.
.
Frnd:"Us k paas Cigret laga kar jana or dhuwa us k muh pe mar
k kehna:"Agar tum kaho to ye
adat bhi chor sakta hun...:->
.
.
.
Us ne jaa kar esa hi kiya..
.
.
.
.
Biwi ne sun kar jawab dia:"NAi
its 0k.. Agar GOLD FLAKE hai te
ek SUTTA Mujhe bhi marna hai..:p

Sabse Bara Kaun

 

Ek Dum Faadu Joke :p
Ek Sharabi full tight ho kar ghar ja rha tha
Raaste mein mandir ke bahar Pujaari dikha
Sharabi ne Pujaari se pucha"Sabse bada kaun?"
Pujaari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha"Mandir Bada"
Sharabi bola"Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada"
Pujaari :"Dharti badi"
Sharabi :"Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujaari :"Sheshnaag bada"
Sharabi :"Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale mein kyun pada"
Pujaari :"Shiv Bada"
Sharabi :"Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyun khada"
Pujaari :"Parbat bada"
Sharabi :"Parbat bada toh Hanumaan ki ungli pe kyun pada"
Pujaari :"Hanumaan bada"
Sharabi :"Hanumaan bada toh Ram ke charno mein kyun pada"
Pujaari :"Ram bada"
Sharabi :"Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujaari :"Arrey Mere baap tu bata de kaun bada"
Sharabi :"Iss duniya mein woh hi bada jopuri bottle pee ke apne pairo pe khada..:D

What Is Ur Name?

Old bt Faadu :)

Boy : What Is Ur Name?
Girl : kyu Bataon, Me Tumhein Nahi Janti.

Boy: Na Batao Me Konsa Tumhen Apni New
HONDA
Car Main Bitha K 5 Star Resturant Le Jane
Wala Tha.

Girl: Jasmin, B.Com Final Year, delhi College..
College Timing 8am To 1pm,
Friday Timing 8 To 12pm
Sunday Off
Aati Papa K Sath Hun
Wapsi Pe Akeli Hoti Hon..!
haha ....@

Be Carefull

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dosto,aaj hum 1
ajib Prani ke bareme padhenge..
Is jiv ka naam he..
"Girlfriend".
Yeh aksar College me payi jati hai.
Inka poustik aahar he Boyfriend ka BHEJA aur wallet.
Inhe aksar naraz hone ka NATAK karte hue dekha jata hai.
Is prani ka sabse khatarnak hathiyar he RONA or emotionally blackmail karna.
uske Sampark me rehne se TENSION
naam ki bimari ho sakti he,
Jiska koi ilaaj nahi.
bas inse savdhan rehna
"Bharat Sarkar dwara janhit me jari."@

What is time o clock?

 

Once An Oldman was waitng 4 Train..
Boy:What's the Time?
Oldman: Sorry
Boy: Time ?
Oldman:No!
Boy: Why?
Oldman: If i tel u the time, u will ask me my name, my job etc
Then both of us will b frank..
May b u get seat beside me.
U may go 2 same city..
My daughter will come 2 recieve me.
She is beautiful U both may fall in love
Den she might insist to marry u &
I'm sorry I dont want a son in- law
who doesnt even have a watch! ..
.
.
.
Boy: Bohot harami ho uncle aap.. =D =))

Story of MATH

 

Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATH bohot
masoom aur pyara tha.
Ek din kuch badmash students ne
MATH ko bohot mara yahan tak ki
Math ki aakhri Sans thi marte marte
sab students ko badua de gyi.
Aur
Ye keh ker is dunia se chala gya k
mein to ja raha hoon lekin MATHS
M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Satayegi
Aaj bhi math ki aatma bhatak rahi
hai aur saare students ko sata rahi
hai aur hamesha satati rahegi :P

Successful Engineer

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

A Successful Engineer walks into a bank in Mumbai & asks for a Rs. 50,000 loan.
The bank asks for Security & the guy hands over the keys & documents of his7-Series BMW which is parked on the street in front of the bank.
After all necessary checks the bank agrees to grant him the loan.
The bank's President & all officers enjoy a good "laugh".. For the Engineer ,who used a 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan of Rs. S0000.
The car was parked in the banks garage safely.
2 months later the guy returns & repays Rs. 50,000 & the interest which comes to Rs. 1250.
The loan officer says, Sir v r very happy to do this transaction, but we r a little puzzled, while u were away, we checkedu out & found that u r a"MULTIMILLIONAR ­IE", then why did u bother to borrow 50,000??
The Engineer replies, where else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 months for only 1250 and expect it to be there when I return?? :D:D
The Engineer smiles & says.. Pleasure doing Business with you all....
Dont mess with engineers :D:D

Pappu Ki Movie

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Pappu Jab Chota Tha To Ek Din
Ghar Par Badi Late Aya
Maa Ne Dante Hue Usko Bola: “ Tu
Itni Raat Ko Kidhar Tha? ”
Pappu: “ Mummy, Vo Main Sath
Wale Sharma Ji Ke Ghar Tv Dekh
Raha Tha ”
Maa: “ Oye Juth Mat Bol, Unke Ghar
Ka Main Gate To Rat Ko 8 Baje Hi
Band HoJaata Hai ”
Pappu: “ Par Mummy Mene To
Unki Khidki Mein Se Sari Movie
Dekhi ”
“ Film Mein Ek Ladki Thi Jo Apne
Kamre Mein Bethi Hui Thi, Tabhi
Hero Aata Hai Aur Uska Hath
Pakad Leta Hai Aur Fir Usko Puppy
Karta Hua Bed Pe Lita Leta Hai ”
Itne Mein Santa Kamre Mein Gussa
Aur Ek Zor Ka Thappar Pappu Ko
Maara
Maa: “ O Ji, Kyu Maarte Ho Bachhe
Ko, Film Ki Story Hi To Bata Raha
Tha ”
Santa: “ Haramzada, Pata Nahi Kya
Kya Dekhta Rahta Hai, Sharma Ji Ke
Ghar Mein To Tv Hi Nahi Hai

Gawar

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Gawaar : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai ?
Salesman- Hum Gawaaro Ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte :P
Gawaar After 1 Month clean Shave &
hair cut, : Ye TV Kitne Ka Hai.. ?
Salesman: Hum Gawaaron ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte...
Gawaar After 1 Month Full angrez
banke: WHAT'S D COST OF THAT TV??
Salesman : Hum Gawaaron ko Koi Chiz Naahi Bechte..
Gawaarr Gusse Me:
abe kaminey Tujhe Kaise Pata Chal Jata Hai Ki mai Gawaar Hu..?
Salsman: Q ki Ye TV Nahi "MICROWAVE" Hai... :P :O :D

Sharabi Daaku

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Ek Shayar Garibi Se Tang Aakar Daku Ban Gaya.. .
Daketi Karne Bank Gaya, Aur kaha.
» Arz kiya hai..
»"Taqdeer Mein Jo likha hai Wahi Milega,,
'Hands Up' koi Apni Jagah Se Nahi Hilega...":-D:- ­ P
Phir Cashier Se Kaha .
» "Kuch khawab Meri Aankho Se Nikal Do,,
Jo Kuch b Hai Jaldi Se is Bag Mein Dal Do.:-D:-P
» General Warning:-
Bahut koshish karta hu teri yaadein bhulane ki:
koi koshish nahi Karega police ko bulane ki... :-D:-P
» Bhula dena Mujko, Kya Jata Hai tera,,
Mein Goli Maru Ga Usko Jo Picha Karega Mera"..:O :D:-P

AAp Chutiya hai?

...................

AAP CHUTIYE HAIN --------
ULTIMATE COLLECTION !!
Agar aap gym mein Itna workout
karte hain ki aapki chest aapki
girlfriend se badi dikhti hai toh
ronnie coleman ki kasam AAP
CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
ladki k chakkar me suicide karne
walo...saare brahmand ki nazron
me aap aashiq nahi AAP CHUTIYE
HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
Kisi Marketing SMS ko apne 9
dosto ko forward krke ye sochna
ki apko 51.42 ka talktime milega,
kasam Bharti mittal ki AAP
CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
agar aap apni Saheli (girlfriend) ki
recharge p recharge karaye ja rhe
hai par fir bhe wo aapko MISS
CALL hi karti hai aur aap uske yeh
baat maan lete hai ki wo
JALANDHAR WALE BUA se baat
kar rhi the isleye balance khatm
hogyaa ,,,
to kasam Vodafone ke zoozoo ki
AAP CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
agar aap software install karte
vakht Next-next click kar k bin
dekhe add-ons install karte hain,
toh ask tool bar ke search box
me aapke liye likha hoga ki AAP
CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
Mumbai me rehkar "OMG I saw
tusshar kapoor today- best day of
my life!!" type status lagane wale,
kasam uspe aye 5 likes ki kasam,
AAP CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
Ganesh sthaapna ke mauke pe
"halkat jawaani" gaana bajaake
naachne walo, Aap Chutiye Hain
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
Non-veg and shraab tuesdays &
thursdays ko naa kha-Peeke agar
aap sochte hai ke bhagvan apse
khush ho jayenge to kasam KFC
ke full Fried chicken bucket ki
AAP CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
agar apne dosto ko chhor ke aap
24 ghante ladkiyo mein ghuse
rehte hein toh aap Cocktail ke
hero nahi, AAP CHUTIYE HAIN
--------------- ­­ -------------- --
AND THE ULTIMATE ONE !!!
Agar aap Sab Se Costly i-phone
lete ho aur $1cost ki wajah se
Whatsapp install nahi karte ho to
China mobile use karne wale bhi
kahenge ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN
Itna Fadu Post padne k baad b
agar Like ni kara
to kasam Mark zuckerberg ki
AAP ............... ­­ ......... :P :P

Lucky Alphabet

 

Aap ke name ka 2nd word aap ko bataegaki aap ko Zindagi mein subse
jyada kya milega....?
A. Kiss
B. Rose
C. Missed calls
D. Bohat izzat
E. Blessing
F. Dua
G. Mitha
iH. Money
I. Respect
J. Khushi
K. Doulat
L. Perfums
M. Mohabbat
N. Happiness
O. Care
P. Friendship
Q. Gift
R. Lots of love
S. Love 4 ever
T. Tension
U. Tears
V. Pain
W. Hug
X. Flate
Y. Chocolate
Z. Love
or comment box me likho fast...:)

Cute confession

 

I AM BAD in ENGLISH BUT
i can tell you that I LOVE YOU.
...
I am BAD in GEOGRAPHY BUT
i can tell you thAt you LIVE in my HEART...
I am BAD in HISTORY BUT
I can REMEMBER when i FIRST saw you.
I am BAD in CHEMISTRY BUT
I can tell WHATS the REACTION when you SMILE..
I am BAD in PHYSICS BUT
I can tell the INTENSITY of SPARK of my EYES when they SEE you..
I am BAD in every SUBJECT BUT
I can TELL ALL.. I will PASS all SUBJECTSif the TOPIC is YOU swethrt.. :) (

How impress someone?

 

Ways to Keep a Relationship Working...
1. Love each other..
2. Don’t lie..
3. Keep communication open..
4. Stay sweet..
5. When you get hurt, focus on forgiving..
6. Never talk about
break-ups..
7. Never say ‘it’s ok’ when it’s not..
8. Learn to put your ego aside..
9. If you say ‘sorry,' mean it..
10. Don’t compare your past with your present..
11. Don’t talk about your ex’s..
12. Practice give and take...
13. Be aware of your partner’s feelings..
14. After a fight, work on resolving the issue right
away; don’t let the days go by..
15. Although there is no ‘perfect person’ out
there,
There IS a ‘right one’ for u.

Love Marriage

 

Beta:"Mom, Love marriage karne se ghar wale naaraz hote hain kya..?"
.
.

Maa:"Tu zaroor kisi chudail ke chakkar mein hoga,
aur ye sab tujhe usi
daayan ne kaha hoga....

Ladkiyan to bas ladkon ko phansane mein hi lagi rehti hain..
Jahan Acha Ladka dekha
shuru
ho gaye...
Beta in se bach ke rehna ye bahut makkar aur KAMEENI hoti hain, aur inka to khandan bhi…........"

Beta:"Bas maa, aisa kuch nahi hai,
Wo to Daddy bata rahe the ke Aap Dono ki Love marriage hui thi.

Engineer sahib kaa ghar konsa?

 

In the year1970 :

Engineer sahib kaa ghar konsa
hai?

Wo jo bada bangla hai, wahin
rehte hain!

In the year 2013-

Excuse me, Yahan engineer kaa
ghar konsa hai?
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. . .
.
.
. .
.
Abe, kisi bhi ghar me ghus jaa.

Ekk naa ekk to
Hoga hi :P

Pappu Ki Biryani

 

Ek din pappu samundar me
naha rha tha tabhi achanak dubne lagta hai Doobne laga to usne pooja ki..
.
"Hey bhagwan,
agar me bach gaya to garib logo
ko Biryani khilauga..:))
.
tabhi Ek jordaar Lehar aayi or
usko sahil par phenk dia Pappu ne upar dekh k kaha,
.
Kaunsi biryani or waha se jane laga...:p
.
Ek aur lehar aayi or pappu ko wapis le gayi..:((
.
to pappu kehne laga:"Mera mtlab tha k chicken
biryani ya mutton biryani"..

Kanjush Ki Beti

 

Kanjoos baap k bete ne kha:"Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi h. 50,000 mang rhi h, CHUP rehne ke"
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paise de diye.
2 mahine baad dusra beta bola:
"Meri GF pregnant hai 75,000 mang rhi h.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.
6 mahine baad
Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli:
"Daddy, I am pregnant!"
Kanjoos ne usko gale se Lagaya
Aur beti ka maatha chum ke kaha:
"Shabaash beti,
Ab paise lene ki baari hamari hai"